


and i could've saved you (but you didn't want me to)

by i_like_ships



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Death, F/F, Major Character Injury, Not Beta Read, So much angst, i can't tag, if Adora didn't go back for catra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25679977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_like_ships/pseuds/i_like_ships
Summary: And she's about to end this, stop Catra even though her heart and brain and body begs her not to.But then Catra speaks — her voice is low and scared and it cracks  — and it's one word, but one word is enough."Promise?"The word is simple, but holds the weight of so much more than just 'promise.'Why didn't I go back for her? Why did I just... leave her again?The staff falls with a thud, and Adora's eyes are unable to stray from Catra's tear-stained face.OrIf Adora listened to catra in corridors and doesn't go back for her, and they meet again on the battlefield
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 116





	and i could've saved you (but you didn't want me to)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for clicking on this! It took so long to type up (ugh mobile) enjoy :D
> 
> or, I mean enjoy as much as you can with a major character death

When Adora sees her again, Catra's like a statue: carved by the deftest hands, but lacking the gentle vulnerability that comes with being human. Adora knows from the the moment she lays her eyes on Catra, that she is too far gone. That Horde Prime has too much control over her, and even with her stubbornness and bravery, she may not be able to break free of his hold.  
She thinks, deep down, Catra knows that as well. And it doesn't deter her the slightest, but her cold, stony facade that Prime has imposed cracks a little when she sees Adora. Catra's dark, short hair is tousled, and in another time maybe Adora would find it attractive. A murderous gleam appears in her now bloodshot eyes.  
They used to be liquid gold and ocean blue, Adora thinks absently. I could have gotten lost in them forever.  
Catra's lips twist into an ugly snarl, shaking Adora out of her thoughts. Catra looks barbaric, Adora thinks, with the disfiguring scars and gashes — _how many were caused by me?_ — on almost every patch of visible skin, and the way she wields her claws.  
She shudders involuntarily as a drop of blood falls off them.  
Finally, too soon, the last soldier that barricades Adora from her falls, a deep incision left in their neck, and she finally comes face to face with Catra. Or... at least, what used to be her.  
"Hey, Adora."  
Adora steps back— or tries to, but something's rooting her firmly in her spot.  
"There she is," Catra purrs, speaking to a non-existent crowd. "She-Ra, in the flesh."  
She gracefully steps closer, cocking her head, and almost delicately tilts Adora's chin up with a claw, her eyes raking over every centimetre of the once almighty She-Ra. "Actually, where _is_ She-Ra? Oh, that's right. You can't summon her anymore."  
Adora grits her teeth as the tip of it breaks skin.  
Catra continues. "Dear Adora, whatever happened to you? You look so tired. Almost like... you're holding the weight of the world on your shoulders."  
Leave Catra alone, she's tempted to say, to scream. But Adora can't bring herself to, because Catra can't hear her. "I could say the same for you," Adora snarks instead, "What, being a villain not as fun as you thought?" She bites back shakily. Of course, it's not that true. She saved Glimmer, and told her not to go back for her. For once, she had listened, because _it was Catra._ And Catra would always be her weakness, no matter what anyone threw at them. No matter the situation. Even if the world had fallen.  
Horde Prime's laugh comes from her mouth, and then so does his voice. "Finally growing some claws! You deserve a round of applause. It would be too much to assume you've moved on, I suspect."  
"I could never," Adora breathes.  
Catra/Horde Prime shrugs, "Oh well. It doesn't make a difference to me, although... for her, it would make it a little harder to do _this. "_  
Adora's eyes widen, and she hurriedly jerks her head back as Catra's claws cut through the space Adora's head previously was, and thankfully only succeeding in nicking her chin.  
She crouches and sends a fist into Catra's stomach, her breath leaving her in an explosive whoosh. Catra staggers back, and if looks could kill, Adora would drop dead in an instant.  
Unfortunately she recovers quickly, and lunges, her claws fully extended and swinging with deadly precision.  
Adora cries out as it opens a gash under her cheekbone.  
"Awww, did little Adora hurt herself?" Catra coos as the blood slowly trickles down Adora's bruised face, a drop falling off and joining the growing puddle on the once unblemished field.  
She tackles Catra, and they grapple and tussle and roll closer and closer to a cliff.  
Catra gets the upper hand, and easily pins her to the ground, her claws hovering above Adora's exposed throat.  
"Not so brave, are you now?" she taunts, her voice overlaid with Prime's before bringing her claws down in a slashing motion.  
Time seems to slow, and Adora stifles a whimper that threatens to bubble up and out of her mouth, her eyes closing instinctively.  
But there isn't a feeling of the cool, sharp material against the warmth of her flesh, no breaking of skin, no gushing of hot, wet blood.  
She cracks her eyes open.  
The claws are dangerously close to her neck – one cut and everything would be over. But Catra is struggling to bring the claws down, the muscles in her arm flexing as if she's fighting something.  
But what was there to fight?  
And abruptly, unexpectedly, her eyes clear – reverting from unfocused green to aqua and gold.  
For a second Adora can believe that it's Catra, the girl who was always there for her, who would never hurt her, the one who used to be the love of her life. And possibly, still is. Not the Catra who was deranged and merciless, torn out of Adora's grasp, too consumed in Horde Prime's desire.  
When she speaks, it's soft; gentle, and not the raspy growl Adora has unwittingly become accustomed to.  
"A-Adora?" Catra murmurs, quickly clambering off the girl underneath her. And even with all her wounds and the blood that covers her, she looks almost fragile.  
Adora jumps up immediately, grabbing her neglected staff as she does. "What sick game are you playing now?"  
Catra puts her hands up in surrender, but her eyes have begun glowing bright green and her claws are unsheathed.  
"There's no game," she pleads, her eyes fading to gold and aqua. "Please, Adora, listen. I haven't got long—" she breaks off with a gasp momentarily, her eyes quickly transforming briefly, before reverting to normal. "He's trying to get back in control," there is an urgent note in her voice, and her fear is palpable. "Please, I—"  
Adora takes step forward, still holding the staff across her body protectively. "Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay. Deep breaths. It's gonna be okay."  
Catra gazes up at Adora, her gaze tender and so vulnerable, and Adora knows this is the perfect time to strike.  
And she's about to end this, stop Catra even though her heart and brain and body begs her not to.  
But then Catra speaks — her voice is low and scared and it cracks — and it's one word, but one word is enough.  
"Promise?"  
The word is simple, but holds the weight of so much more than just 'promise.'  
_Why didn't I go back for her? Why did I just... leave her again?_  
The staff falls with a thud, and Adora's eyes are unable to stray from Catra's tear-stained face.  
"I..." Adora begins, but she don't know if she can keep the promise. "Just sheathe your claws," she reasons placidly, her heart breaking when she sees Catra's face fall.  
"I'm trying," she gasps, and even at arms length Adora can see the thin sheen of perspiration covering her forehead, partly obscured by rouge strand of her once unruly hair— now cut short.  
"There's not enough time, Adora. I need to tell you so much, but there's not enough—"  
Adora cuts her off harshly, ignoring the pang in her chest as she sees Catra's hurt expression. "Say what's important."  
Catra inhales sharply, as if simply speaking causes pain. "I'm part of something bigger. Horde Prime is planning something bigger, bigger than taking over the world. You need to stop him, it took me this long to break out of his control, and even now it's not permanent," she takes step closer, and Adora's breath hitches. " _Promise_ me that you'll stop him."  
"H-how do I know I can trust you?" Adora demands warily, regretting the words as soon as they leave her mouth.  
Catra's eyes narrow slightly. "You don't. Unfortunately. It would make things easier if you knew, but the universe was never kind to us, was it?" she smiles, but it's sad, and her heart's not in it.  
At some point, Adora's hair has fallen out of her usual, neat ponytail, and she brushes it out of her teary eyes. "Catra, I'm sorry."  
The magicat begins to shrug, but stiffens mid-movement, abruptly straightening up with a dreadful crack that chills Adora to her bones. Catra's eyes go a terrifying, ominous shade of green, her face staring blankly at Adora. When she speaks, Horde Prime is talking as well.  
"How... disappointing," she/he hums. "I'd hoped she would not foolishly give into her emotions for you. Alas, she cared about you. Too much, it seems."  
"Let her go!" Adora interjects, her fists clenching and unclenching, ignoring the heat that rises to her face and the way her heart seems to beat a little faster.  
"Unfortunately, I cannot. She has failed me, and shall suffer the consequences."  
Catra gradually stumbles towards the cliff, crying out as she approaches it.  
"No! No, Catra, please!"  
She groans, putting a hand to her forehead. Her eyes clear. "It's fine, Adora. We both know I don't matter."  
"No!" Adora shouts again. "No, you matter to me!" I love you, she thinks, but she can't gather enough courage to say the words out loud.  
The corners of Catra's mouth curl up, and the way she gazes at Adora makes her heart ache.  
"I'm going to take you home," Adora says, a tear trickling down her face.  
Catra shudders, and Adora can see she's crying too. Her voice cracks. "You promise?"  
And right now, all she can see is Catra —she's beautiful, every centimetre of her— and it's just the two of them against all odds — against the world.  
Adora reaches for her hand, and Catra reaches for hers.  
And then she stops.  
"Do not worry, Adora," a voice interrupts. "She wil not be in your life any longer. I suppose some things are only made for destruction."  
Catra pulls her hand away and screams as electricity crackles in the air around her, the smell of something burning permeating Adora's senses.  
Frozen in fear, they lock eyes.  
And then she steps back, her foot scrabbling for purchase, and falls. 

Instantly, Horde Prime's hold on her relinquishes, and Adora can see the fear in her eyes. In that moment, she can see Catra. The girl who was her best friend, and nothing could come between them as long as they were together.  
Adora dashes towards her limp body, the only thought in her mind to save Catra.  
And fleetingly another image flashes in her head— of another universe, of another time, another Catra falling, another ledge.  
One step.  
Two steps.  
_She'sfallingtoofastIcan'tgetcloseenoughI'mgoingtoloseheragainnonotagainIcan'tloseher_ again.  
She reaches her, and latches onto her as tight as she can. Pulls Catra to her chest, stumbles back from the cliff.  
Safe.  
She wraps her arms gently around Catra, a feeble attempt to comfort her.  
"It's okay," she murmurs, her voice trembling. "I've got you. You're safe. Everything's gonna be okay. I'm here."  
Catra throws her arms around Adora, burying her face into her shoulder, Adora's warmth seeping into her body.  
"I'm taking you home," she says. Catra mumbles something she can't pick up on.  
For a moment, everything is fine. They're safe. It is just Adora and Catra, like old times.  
But only for a moment.  
Because then Catra's claws dig into Adora's back, first pinpricks of pain and then white-hot pain that's overwhelming, and Catra rakes them down and draws blood, before shoving Adora away in a smooth, swift, rehearsed motion.  
Adora sinks to her knees, her hand trying fruitlessly to stem the steady flow of blood. The back of her shirt and jacket is soaked in it.  
"Curse you," she spits at Prime. "You took Catra away from me. You _ruined_ her."  
Horde Prime laughs, and Adora doesn't think there's a sound she hates more than that. "Ruined her? Oh, naive Adora. I made her stronger, let her reach her potential and showed her the light. You? You did nothing but hinder her."  
Catra steps closer, a beam of light glancing off her claws — stained with Adora's blood. Involuntarily, chills run down Adora's spine as she stalks closer.  
Catra trails her claws lightly over Adora's jaw, then down her exposed neck, a sadistic, manic grin twisting her once soft features. Her eyes glint with mirth, and she's so close that it makes Adora think of the last time they were like this.  
Adora can't help the way the blush rises to her cheeks, the way her breathes hitches and how she's still hopelessly in love with Catra.  
"Catra," she says, "stop."  
Catra leans in even further, one clawed hand cupping Adora's chin, the other pressed against her abs, and their noses brush. Adora goes beet red, and tries to step back, only to be met with the strong, sturdy trunk of a tree, and she hisses as her injured back is pressed to it.  
"Hey, Adora," Catra smirks as she jams her thigh between Adora's.  
Adora yelps, flattening herself against the tree. Her breaths are short, and her voice breathless. "S-stop!" she pushes Catra away, and then Catra digs her claws in, tearing flesh then drags them, leaving a deep, _deep_ gouge in Adora's abdomen.  
A scream is torn from her throat, and she wraps her arms around hersel, hunching over as the wound bleeds profusely, the blood falling in a steady stream. It's agony, and she can taste bile in her parched throat as she stares at her ex best friend in horror.  
Catra steps back, a wide grin on her face as Adora stumbles, landing awkwardly as she desperately tries to stop the flow, to no avail.  
"Poor Adora," Prime comments as the girl attempts to bite back a scream. "she's finally met her match. Tell me, what's it like being defeated?"  
Adora glares at the monster who has taken her friend, pure hatred on her face.  
And then, suddenly Catra is there — Catra, and not Horde Prime — crouching beside her half-dead body, heedless of the pool of blood she's lying in.  
Gazing at Adora with that look on her face, so tender and worried and caring, and Adora can't help the way her lips curve upwards.  
"Hey, Catra," she croaks, turning her head away from the catgirl and ungracefully hacking up a mixture of blood, bile and spit.  
"Adora!" Catra cries, a sob wracking her body. "I – I shouldn't—" her mouth opens and closes wordlessly, unable to decide on what to say.  
Adora chuckles; raspy and barely audible. "It's okay," she murmurs, managing to stand up, still cradling her abdomen. She's vaguely aware of the trickle of blood down her check, and the stream from her back and abs. Adora offers Catra a pale hand.  
"Come with me," she offers earnestly, her grey-blue eyes shining despite all that's happened. "We can fix this. Please, Catra. Stay."  
Catra's mismatched eyes widen, and she gingerly reaches out to take the other girl's hand.  
For a second, her eyes glimmer with hope, and not rage or sadness, and Adora can imagine the two of them having a happy ending.  
They're so _close_. So close to a new start.  
But not close enough. 

Catra's eyes flash murderously, and Adora realises that Horde Prime now commands her.  
Catra snatches her hand away. "No!" she snarls, and to Adora, killing her would hurt less than what Catra does next.  
"No," she repeats, quieter, but no less furious. "I'd rather have the world end than let you win."  
Adora's eyes are flooding with tears, and she can feel them falling freely. "Please, Catra." she begs, but she isn't talking to Catra anymore. Horde Prime is in control.  
With one swift motion, Catra picks up a discarded dagger and drives it into her chest.  
A panicked no escapes Adora's lips, and she awkwardly lurches forwards, stumbling towards Catra.  
Adora hesitates when she reaches Catra, fingers hovering above the hilt of the dagger.  
"A-Adora?" a weak voice alerts her.  
"Catra," she mutters. "Don't worry, you'll be okay. I'm going to save you."  
Catra feebly brushes away Adora's hand. "Don't lie to me, Adora. We both know what's going to happen."  
Adora shakes her head desperately. "No, no, no. This can't happen to you, no, we were supposed to—" she stops with a choked cry.  
There's no point in consoling Catra; she's too smart. For a few seconds Adora just watches the faint flutter of Catra's chest, listens to her shallow breathing until she speaks, barely more than a whisper.  
"I guess this is the end, huh?"  
Adora feels a pang in her heart when she answers. "Yeah."  
Catra grimaces. "I'm sorry, for what it's worth."  
"So am I," Adora murmurs.  
Catra laughs, and Adora realises how much she's missed that sound, before wincing in pain. "What do you have to be sorry for?"  
Adora shrugs, her gaze travelling over Catra face, taking in everything. "Letting you down. I should have gone back for you."  
They both fall silent. After a moment, Catra speaks up, her breathing noticeably more strained.  
"Not long now," she tilts her head towards Adora, a small smile gracing her chapped lips.  
I want to kiss them, Adora thinks as she gently takes Catra's limp, calloused hand.  
Gives her a soft smile.  
Hopes her gaze can communicate the words she wishes she has time to say, and something in Catra's expression changes.  
"Wait," Catra blurts suddenly. She reaches up, and using her remaining strength, grabs the back of Adora's head.  
Adora's eyes widen, and Catra drags her down. Their lips meet, and it's urgent and hot, not slow and sweet like the way Adora has fantasised about.  
When Adora pulls away, red faced and panting, Catra isn't breathing anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day :) 
> 
> Also, go give the song 'Superhero' by Hayd a listen! I was playing it on repeat while writing this, and I think it kinda fits


End file.
